Credit Cards

I work in an environment where I come into direct contact with the public, both in person and on the telephone. Much of this work involves processing orders with a credit card via telephone. I've run into a few situations that earn my frustration.

First, I really hate it when customers can't tell me what kind of card it is. Usually the card logo is prominently displayed somewhere on the face of the card. Telling me it's a credit card doesn't do me any good. I also don't care if it's a debit, a check card, or Bank of America. Especially concerning the latter, I don't care what financial institution issued you your piece of plastic, but it makes it easier when you just tell me Visa or MasterCard. Also I feel frustrated to no end when you cannot tell me the correct expiration date, or if you give me an expired card. If I tell you that the date is invalid, it is because you have given me a card that is out of date.

I cannot stand when a patron gives me the CCV, or security code, when I ask for for the billing zip code. A billing zip code is five digits--do not give me "5-6-1" or "9-4-1-2" ( a four-digit security code is on the face of American-Express cards). Give me, say, "90210" or "44610." Also, if you do not know your zip code, congratulations, you're an idiot. If you can't tell me your zip code, that means (to me) you've never paid a bill, wrote a letter, applied for a job, filled out a form, or done anything competent adults usually have done. If you tell me the wrong zip code, you are an utterly stupid idiot. The only excuse is if you have just moved. If you've been in the area for at least a month, learn the zip code. If you tell me a certain zip code but then change it after I process payment (whether or not your card was accepted), I will secretly hate you. Please know as well that billing zip code means the zip code of the place where you should receive your credit card bill in the mail. If you have a debit or check card, it is the zip code that you gave the bank on the application. If you have moved but did not change the zip code for the card, chances are it's still associated with the old zip code.

Sign the credit card receipt. Don't walk out when I'm trying to call your name. I know some places have a policy of requiring a signature when the amount due is above a certain number, but where I work you are required to sign. If you don't, you don't get what you paid for: that would be failing to adhere to the cardmember agreement. Unfortunately, where I work, debit is not accepted, but most debit cards have a Visa or MasterCard logo for credit capability. If you are paying by phone, it is safe to assume that your order will be charged as credit. Don't be an idiot by saying your PIN out loud. Also, if you don't see a keypad in front of you when your card is swiped, it is probably processed as credit.

Not every business is guaranteed to accept your kind of card: this is particularly true for those who use American-Express, Discover, Diners Club, or some other obscure brand. The most common are Visa and MasterCard, the former being virtually guaranteed everywhere you might go. If we don't take you card, don't get mad at us. That's why you should carry cash.